Red
by iguessimawriter
Summary: Set mid-season 8. "Jackson Avery was seeing red. He tried to convince himself it was just a glitch, a side effect from staring at his red headed best friend for the majority of the evening. But not so deep down he knew the truth: he was jealous." A world were Jackson has feelings for April before sex and April is trying to get laid...well sorta. May change to M based on reviews.
1. Chapter 1

**Set sometime in mid-season eight. Going to be a two-shot. This is how i think it would have played out if Jackson realized he liked April well before they had sex. Also April is not religious cause i think that was a cop out writing wise. Enjoy!**

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Jackson Avery was seeing red. He tried to convince himself it was just a glitch, a side effect from staring at his red headed best friend for the majority of the evening. But not so deep down he knew the truth: he was jealous. And the red he was currently seeing had nothing to do with April Kepner's hair, color (Okay, it had a little bit to do with her hair color.) but more to do with the creep shamelessly flirting with his best friend.

He's not really sure when it started; the staring that is. At first he just found her amusing, a dorky side kick that helped him forget about the drama and trauma that comes with being a doctor, surgeon and Avery. But then there was a merger, and a shooting, and an already-in-love-with-someone-else girlfriend, and somewhere along the line he started staring and caring more than he ever thought he would or should. Only he realized what that staring meant too late, so when the rest of the Seattle Grace Mercy Death doctors decided it was a good idea to bring April out tonight with the sole intent of getting her, as Alex crudely put it, "laid" what could he have said? "Sorry April I know you're a virgin and all but I've been eye fucking you for weeks which gives me the right to not allow you to do any actual fucking. That and the fact I think I'm in love with you" No. He couldn't have said that. It was very unbecoming. Especially for an Avery.

So instead he sat at the bar across the room, staring as some frat-esque guy tried to put the moves on the girl that he knew was too good for them all. He was nursing his beer in one hand, surprised that the situation didn't make him want to get mind numbingly drunk, but watch her like a hawk. His hand tightened around the bottle when the guy put his arm around her, giving the pretense that he would show her how to throw a dart. She just went with it, maybe because she was sick of being teased for being a virgin, maybe because she actually _wanted _to sleep with the guy. But that thought was too much for Jackson to bear. Seeing someone touch her arm was tearing him apart. The thought of someone touching her elsewhere….he couldn't handle that. So, he downed his beer and focused on how pretty he though she looked.

"You know we wouldn't have made her do it if we knew."

Meredith sat at the stool next to him ordering another drink. He gave her a questioning look, not trusting his voice to conceal his real feelings. "Come on Jackson. You like April. You have been staring at her for the past hour like she's murdering your puppy or something."

He couldn't help but smirk at that. He liked Meredith. Maybe it was their similar upbringings or the kindness under her dark twisted exterior, but he liked her. And currently he was slightly drunk and really pissed which made him confined in her, "Yeah well I'm just the best friend. And taking that step with her and it turning out badly…I can't handle that. It's been a shitty year and she is the only good thing to come out of it. I can't risk it."

Meredith rolled her eyes as April laughed across the room, making him cringe again. "She's your person. And trust me; nothing is better, more special, then being with your person. Look we brought her here tonight to get drunk, get laid, and get on with her life. She always wanted it to be special right? Wanted to wait for the right guy? You're her person. There's nothing more special than that. So why can't you be the one to fulfill the intent of this little outing?"

Before he could answer there was a crash on the other side of the room. He looked up to find the frat guy standing above a whimpering April. And he thought he had been seeing red before. He didn't remember walking over to where she was on the floor, a small cut on her face and clutching her hand to her chest, but when he got in the vicinity all he heard was the guy grumble out, "Fucking tease". That was when he lost it. In that moment medicine and legacy and million dollar hands did not matter. Because for once instead of healing he was breaking. A nose to be exact. And nothing had ever been more satisfying.

It took all of his will power not to hit the guy again and again and again. Somewhere in the back of his mind he made a note that this was the second time he was defending April's honor, or maidenhood, whatever you want to call it, and that he had to stop letting her wind up with shitty guys like this. He didn't really question what the devoted protection at a moment's notice meant. After one solid hit, and a significant crack, he turned around to find April still on the floor, tears dangerously close to spilling out of her eyes.

"You shouldn't have done that," she whispered t as he helped her up, carefully and swiftly examining the cut on her face.

"He shouldn't have either. Come on I'm taking you home."

With an arm around her shoulder the two left the bar, leaving the other doctors to deal with the man's broken nose. Meredith stood smiling by the bar when Alex came up. "Damn. What is it with Avery and hitting people for Kepner?"

"She's his person, I would expect nothing less. You're staying at my house tonight. They need their privacy."

Alex gave a chuckle, "So mission get-Kepner-laid is a success?"

"If he follows my advice it will be."

XXX

April Kepner was sick of being teased. That was it. Plain and simple. Why else would she be standing here in the bar laughing at some douche of a guy's half rate jokes? Because the truth was she didn't plan on sleeping with him. Not really. Maybe she would let him make out with her for a bit and claim she had done the deed to her fellow residents who seemed so keen on getting her having sex. Well, except Jackson. She wasn't sure why but he didn't join in on the teasing today. In fact, now that she thought about it he seemed to tense up at the mention of her "getting laid." Maybe he was still missing Lexie or something. Oh well.

April turned her full attention back to Justin (or was it Jake?) , even though only some of her attention was needed to keep up with him. It wasn't that she didn't understand what you had to do to flirt with a guy. Bat your eyelashes. Give little smiles and giggles. Let him touch your arm. Her sisters had taught her it all, it wasn't very hard. But it also wasn't very her. And she didn't want a relationship that was based on society's rules of proper flirting etiquette. She wanted someone who understood her and cared for her to be her first time because while she could do all the flirting, but when it came down to it the physical side of relationships always freaked her out.

It was when he started the whispering that she realized it was a bad idea to come here tonight. Because while she had long since given up on finding a guy to give her the first time that she wanted, she was not quite ready to settle for the one whispering the vulgar, dirty things he wanted to do to her.

"Sorry…um…I think I should go, "she said trying to get out of his grip and away from him as quickly as possible. She spotted Jackson and Meredith in an intense chat by the bar. But, she never made it to the pair. She didn't expect him to hit her when she moved away, the ring on his hand causing a stinging on her face, most of her weight landing on her right hand as she fell. The next few moments happened quickly. Before she even knew what was happening Jackson was standing over the guy, with a look on his face that could be described at nothing but violent. But then he turned to her and the anger washed away just as suddenly as it came, his face softening into concern as he picked her up from the ground.

She mumbled something about how he shouldn't have done that, but she was so happy that he did. Because in her life she had had a lot of relationships, but none of them except her friendship with Jackson had ever involved someone protecting her. Everyone else simply tolerated her or kept her around for her cooking and cleaning habits. He responded, she knows he did, but she was so confused at the feeling she was now getting when she looked at him-the best way to describe it was desire, but he was her best friend and that wasn't allowed-and she was slightly drunk and just really wanted to go home. So, when he put his arm around her and led her out the bar she couldn't be more relieved.

That feeling didn't seem to go away though.


	2. Chapter 2

The walk back to their apartment was short and quiet. Jackson's arm was still slung protectively around her shoulder. When he realized that the shivering radiating from her body was because of what that guy did and not the crisp air outside he knew he couldn't do it anymore. He wasn't going to be that guy who stood by and let the girl he knew he should be with go and fuck someone else simply because he was too scared to tell her how he felt. That was Mark Sloan, not him. He had dated Lexie because he wanted to love someone the way Mark loved her. The feeling was the right thing to go after; he just did it with the wrong girl.

When they made it to their apartment door was when his arm finally let her go to get his key, his body practically aching from loss of contact. He thought how insane it was that just the sling of his arm her shoulders felt amazing to him. He sighed as he opened the door to their apartment, turning on the light.

"Sit down and I'll get some ice for your hand, "she ordered, the medical bossy side in her coming out. Not willing to fight her on anything anymore, he did as he was told while she made her way to the fridge. He wondered if she was really completely unaware to how gorgeous she was or if it was just an act she put on. Then he realized she was a terrible liar and it made him hurt to know that no one had probably ever told her that she was gorgeous, himself included.

"Earth to Jackson" she said standing in front of him ice pack now in hand. She smiled down at him, for once being taller because he was seated. "I don't know whether to be mad at you for hurting your hand or impressed that you screwed it up this much with one punch."

He smirked as she took his hand in her own and put the ice on it. "Yeah well it seems I've been getting a lot of practice punching guys out for you lately." He didn't mean for it to be mean, and in reality it wasn't; just true to the point of hurting. All he knew was he immediately regretted saying it when he saw her smile fade.

"I didn't…"

"No your right." She said already forgiving him for the remark without a formal apology. She quickly became very interested in her feet as she rambled, "I wasn't going to have sex with him. Maybe just kiss him a bit to get everyone off my back and stop calling me a prude ya know? But then he s-started saying all of these s-sexual things and it k-kinda freaked me out so I tried to leave a-and then…"

But he already knew what happened next so he just stood up and hugged her. (Half because his body had been craving contact since their last touch was broken and half because she just looked like she needed it.) They stayed like that for a while, her head leaning on his chest, his hands making soothing circles into her back. He thought he might just want to live there forever, in this limbo away from feelings that weren't allowed and drunken bar jerks; a place where it could just be him and her, Jackson and April.

"What's wrong with me?" she asked finally making eye contact with him but still in his arms.

He could have gone with the cliché "nothing" but the whole falling-in-love-with-your-best-friend-without-even-realizing-it was enough for him, so he went with the truth hoping this time it wouldn't hurt, "You keep thinking guys who aren't good enough for you can make you happy."

XXX

She wasn't expecting that. Hell she wasn't expecting any of this. The way he was holding her was intimate. Intimacy had always been her real issue with guys, so she didn't understand why it was so easy with him. And the way he was rubbing her back…she never wanted it to stop. Sure, he was her best friend, but he was also arguably the best looking guy she had ever seen, if not the best looking guy _ever._ So why did she feel more at ease with him than any other man she had ever dated?

The question wasn't supposed to be said aloud. But she had a problem filtering her thoughts when she was nervous or experiencing new things, which both happened to be occurring. But his answer was wrong. Sure, it was a nice thing to hear, but it wasn't true. April knew she was a lot of things-smart, a deceit doctor, loyal friend and kick ass cook- but she wasn't desirable. It's the real reason why she had never had sex; all the guys had wanted to get laid, but they didn't really want _her_. She had to take what she could get, scrape the bottom of the barrel. He, being him, clearly never had that problem.

She opened her mouth to refute his remark but he beat her to it, "And do not say that it's not true, because it is. Your kind and smart and fucking gorgeous and a million other things I would name if you would let me. But, you never would because modest is one of those things." She smiled at that and he continued, "That guy was a jerk. Any guy who won't wait for you because he just wants sex is a fucking moron. Because you're not the kind of girl a guy has a one night stand with and never calls again. You're the kind they fall in love with."

The blush was immediate, unstoppable really. His eyes never broke their contact and she was glad he was still holding her, because if she was standing alone she would have just fallen to the floor. "W-what makes you s-say that?" she asked because she was really quite confused. Maybe it was the fact that she was slightly inebriated, or maybe that punch had given her a concussion.

She just knew she had to be dreaming when he calmly said with a shrug of his shoulders, "I speak from experience." Before he leaned down and kissed her.

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**Hey. Thanks to anyone reading this! Sorry the spacing is kinda off. i actually have a lot of this story written so i'm just going to release it bit by bit. I don't no if i'm going to make it a M rating because I've never really written anything like that but if you want me to i'll try my best. Let me know what ya think.**


	3. Chapter 3

He didn't mean to do it. Honestly. He knew she was new to this and he didn't want to rush her. He had planned on telling her his feelings; that was all. He was going to let her think it over and then he would go from there. He had almost done it too. He made a nice speech and everything. But then she just had to blush, and sweet lord he had never seen something so equally sexy and innocent all at once. She was going to be the death of him and she didn't even know it. So when she looked up at him and asked him the question he had the perfect answer to, all flustered and red, what was he supposed to do? Not kiss her?

He started off slow, because kissing your inexperienced best friend ,who you happen to be in love with, for the first time isn't something you do every day. When he first captured her lips it was almost chaste. He wrapped her even tighter in his embrace as she started to respond, their lips moving in sync, and her hands now at the nape of his neck. When she parted her mouth slightly and let out the tiniest, sexiest moan he had ever heard he almost lost it. He backed her onto the table and lifted her up; hoping that balancing out their heights would allow him better access. What he didn't expect was for her to wrap her legs around his waist.

He regrettably pulled back, knowing they shouldn't take things _too_ fast (but dear god did he want to) and looked at her, lips now plumped, face now flushed. He couldn't help but smile. "Was that okay?" he asked as he tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

She nodded, the blush returning slightly, "Yeah. Do you think it was okay?" And he realized that maybe that was the furthest she had gone with a guy ever, her legs still around him, and it made him somewhat protective and possessive that he was the first she had kissed like that.

"Better than I ever imagined" he answered pecking her lips again.

"Y-you imagined that?" her fingers were now at the hem of his shirt, slightly pulling it up and caressing the skin underneath.

He had to suck in a breath to remain calm, "You have no idea" he whispered before kissing her again. This time though it wasn't anywhere near chaste. He stepped closer into her, stopping only because the table and physics didn't allow him to be any closer. Her hands were now completely under his shirt, tracing random patters as he kissed her the way he always wanted to. If he didn't known better he would say she was lying about the whole 28-year-old-virgin thing, because everything she was doing to him was torture in its sweetest form.

He started to kiss her neck, hoping it would somehow help him regain control. He worked his way down, nibbling and licking every so often, hoping that this wasn't too much for her. But then he reached a certain spot and she practically purred out his name, and he realized that if they didn't stop soon then he wouldn't be able to stop at all.

So, he rested his head on her forehead eyes closed, painfully and joyously aware that she was pressed up perfectly against him, her arms around his neck.

"If we don't stop now I'm not going to be able to later." He said, trying to explain why he had suddenly discontinued their antics.

"W-what if I don't want to stop? "She said and his eyes popped open, gracing him with the sight of her biting her lip, dimple now intact, and looking slightly nervous.

XXX

She didn't know what had gotten into her. All she knew was that the second Jackson had kissed her, she wondered why she had ever spent time doing anything else. In past relationships she had always remained guarded. There was always something blocking her from getting to that next level. Sure, she had had goodnight kisses and the occasional make-out session, but nothing had ever even been close to this. With Jackson, she found herself breaking down the wall that always seemed to come up when she engages in physical contact. But this time it was different. She wanted it all, and she wanted it with him. April had never been more excited and nervous in her entire life.

He looked at her, concern and desire ridden in his eyes, "Are you saying that because you mean it or because everyone is telling you to have sex?"

And she knows she should be slightly hurt by the fact that he even has to ask, and quite frankly she kind of is, but she understands why he has to. He had just fallen short of telling her he loved her not too long ago and she knows that's not an easy feat for him. He's just trying to make sure she wanted this for the right reasons, even if he did so in his own Jackson-like way. (And if she was being completely honest she sort of loved him for it. But she was just short of saying the words and so was he.)

So, she took the reins, which she never does, and pulled the hem of his shirt up until he got the idea and allowed her to rid him of the piece of clothing, flinging it across the room. She kissed him, breaking their lips just to say, "I'm saying it cause I mean it and I don't want my first time to be with some douche I met in a bar. I want it to be with you."

XXX

If he thought nervous April was sexy confident April was out of this world. He knew it wouldn't last long; April was always uncomfortable in new situations and her having sex was a big deal, so he knew he had to take it slow. So, for a few moments he just kissed her. Then, he steadily moved his hand to be under her shirt, not enough to touch anything important, but just enough to thumb in small soothing circles onto her side. He felt her tense momentarily at the new sensation but then lax into it, which was good. He didn't want her to feel uncomfortable or scared. He wanted to make her feel safe and loved, and he would do everything in his power to ensure that her first time was good.

He broke the kiss but kept his hand where it was. "Come on, your first time can't be on a kitchen table." he murmured, lifting her up, (which caused her to exclaim a small "Oh") making his way to his bedroom while kissing her neck and trying to find that spot she seemed to like before.

When they made it into his room he slowly laid her down onto his comforter, which by a stroke of luck was actually tidally made on his bed. He let her lay there for a second as he rid himself of his pants, knowing she would feel uncomfortable doing it. He made his way back to her, "If you don't like something you need to tell me okay? If something hurts or is uncomfortable or if you want to stop at any time you have to tell me. And if you like something-well- I think you'll be telling me when you like something."

She blushed at that and lightly hit his arm, as he chuckled, but it didn't go unnoticed that she looked kind of anxious "I'm serious though. Don't be afraid or embarrassed okay? It's just me and you."

She nodded and looked a bit eased, so he kissed her again. His hand steadily made its way up to the bottom of her breast, where he began to rub the skin at the edge of her bra. She leaned into his touch a bit which he took as a good sign. He broke the kiss and grabbed the hem of her blouse, carefully pulling it away from her body. She then started to unbutton her jeans and he was surprised she was so ready to take this step, but he wasn't complaining. He helped slide them off her legs and looked back to admire his work. God damn she was gorgeous. She looked up at him, wearing some red lacy bra and matching panties that must be a sin to even own.

He breathed out, not really being able to speak, or for that matter, form coherent thoughts. She blushed again, which he almost wished she would stop doing because it just made him want to tear her to pieces in the best possible way. He was already so hard, but he knew he had to make this good for her as the actual sex might be painful or uncomfortable. The foreplay had to be amazing.

"Did I do something wrong?" she questioned as he must have been staring longer than he realized, a little lost in thought.

"Never" he whispered, kissing her again, leaning above her but putting weight on his forearms not to crush her. His hand returned to its previous state, rubbing under her breast but now able to reach more surface area. However, this time he moved slightly upward with each swipe. She broke the kiss, which he assumed meant she couldn't breathe and kiss him while he was touching her like that. So, he leaned in and kissed her neck the way he had already realized she liked, grinning at how worked up she already seemed while he had barely touched her. When he finally did reach her nipple, though still slightly protected by her bra, her reaction was immediate.

XXX

"Jackson" she moaned out as he put even more pressure on one of her most sensitive areas. April had never felt anything like this before. She felt his touch go straight to her center and it was almost embarrassing how wet she could already feel herself becoming.

"Shh I know," he responded wrapping his arms around her back and finding the hook of her bra quickly, "This okay?" he asked and she nodded, unable to form words. The bra was discarded and she suddenly felt self-conscious. I mean Jackson had been with a lot of girls. How could she possibly compete with beautiful girls who already knew what they were doing?

"God could you get any sexier?" he asked, mainly talking to himself, kissing her again. But the comment suddenly made her feel better. This was Jackson. He was her person. She was safe with him.

All thoughts and insecurities quickly eased away as he pressed his thumb over her already erect nipple. She moaned and squirmed a bit; trying to ease some of the pressure she was feeling in her lower half, wishing the coil that suddenly appeared in her stomach would just unwind. He broke the kiss and looked at her sort of surprised.

"You really that sensitive?" he seemed concerned, but he repeated the motion, his surgical fingers adding just the right amount of pressure.

"I-I g-guess." She said, barely forming words as he kept his thumb circling and pressing her.

He gave a wicked smile, "Good". And then he was rubbing her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and she could have sworn she lost it. He was pinching her lightly then harder, alternating rhythms so she could never get used to the feeling. He was tugging one nipple while pinching the other. She was no longer in control of the moans or squirming her body seemed to be doing. And then Jackson took the other nipple in his mouth and started to lick, and she simply couldn't take it.

"Jackson please, "she said eyes closed breathing heavily

"April," he said and her eyes opened at the sincerity of his voice but then it soon turned mocking, even humorous as he whispered, "Please what?"

Her throat went dry. What he was doing felt so good, better than she ever thought it could, but she needed more, and didn't know how it was done. She must have been silent for too long because the next time he spoke his voice was worried.

"Was that too much?"

"No! It felt good._ Really_ good. B-but I need y-you to umm."

"Yes?"

And she didn't know how to say it, and he was looking at her with those eyes like this was the most important thing in the world,( and when she thought about it maybe it was) but if he kept touching her like that and not the way she really _needed_ to be touched she thought she might explode.

"T-touch me."

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**Hello my lovely readers. Okay so this is the last section that i already have written so this whole 3-chapters-in-24-hours thing is basically stopping now. I don't know how long this story is going to be anymore, I've really been feeling Japril so i'm sure i can make it a nice long multi-chapter thing if anyone is interested. SOOO yeah. Changing the rating to M for obvious reasons. Everyone have a good weekend!**


	4. Chapter 4

He was enjoying this. A lot. Too much maybe. What kind of guy gets off on corrupting their best friend? But she was just so sensitive, more than any other girl he had ever been with, and those moans and squirming she kept on doing just egged him on, daring him to do more. He was fairly sure that if he wanted to he could get her off just from touching her breasts. But that was no way for her to experience (what he was assuming) her first ever orgasm.

He couldn't help but tease her when she let out a needy plea. What he didn't expect was the nervous stare he got after. Then he realized he may have just majorly fucked up. She was new to this all, and he had been too aggressive and made her change her mind on having sex at all. So he asked if it was all okay, and she said it was, but she needed something else. And all he wanted was for her to tell him what she did need so he could do _that_ for her. Because she had already done so much for him, the least he could do was make sure her first time was out of this world.

"T-touch me." A simple answer, one she didn't seem entirely sure on. But he got the message. He nodded in response and starting kissing her again. He glanced up at her as his hands found her hips, thumbs toying over the last of the fabric that kept him from her. She gave a nod, perhaps realizing that he was not doing anything tonight without her permission. He slowly pulled the garment down her legs, to her ankles where she kicked them off. He shifted their position slightly so that his dominate hand now laid on her right thigh. He rubbed her here for a while, knowing it was achingly close to the spot she wanted to be touched.

Without warning he put his palm directly on her center. "O-oh my g-god," she moaned out, and he smiled.

"Jesus your so wet." He said in awe as he made his fingers trace her folds, her breathing becoming erratic.

"Whose fault is that?" she countered, and he was happy that she was gaining confidence in this all, at least enough to tease him. He let his fingers wonder just a bit more, until he made his way to her slick opening. She breathed out his name again as he stuck a digit in slightly, but not all the way. Instead he shifted his hand slightly upward, his thumb playing over the bundle of nerves, all while swallowing her moan with a kiss.

He did that for a while. Keeping a steady pace over her nerves, digging his finger into the source of her wetness just enough to drive her crazy but not enough to give her what she really wanted. Her moans where becoming persistent, and her hips rocking off the bed, and he knew she wouldn't last longer, so he gave in. (In reality had he ever been able to reject what she wanted?) He entered just one finger, keeping its pace matching with that of his thumb and her lips over hers.

"J-jackson I-I c-can't" she moaned into the kiss, which he then broke, moving his lips to her ears.

"Come for me April," he said, voice almost not being able to make out the words.

XXX

Everything seemed to go hazy, but she could still feel his hands on her, his mouth on her ear. She finally completely understood the expression "rocked my world". She didn't really know what she had been expecting, but not that. Nothing she could think of came even _close_ to that.

"You okay?" She heard him say as she opened her eyes. He was leaning above her, a smile playing on his lips.

"Yeah. Thank y-you." She said awkwardly.

"Trust me, " his lips met hers, "The pleasure was mine."

She wondered how much could change between them in such a short amount of time. This morning he was just her best friend, admittedly one she had always felt something for, but now she was naked in his bed and the line of "just friends" was crossed long ago, about the same time he kissed her.

"How about I return the favor?" she said, trying to be sexy or seductive or something, she wasn't really that sure, but she failed miserably. So her fingers toyed with the elastic of his boxers, trying to pull them off because she was naked as the day she was born and him not being the same just wasn't fair. But she was also very nervous (which granted the situation was acceptable) because being a doctor and all had allowed her to see many-well- men's parts, although she had never done so in this context.

He could sense this though. (And once she allowed herself a moment to ponder it, it was quite weird how well he seemed to be able to read her. Like a beloved book.) He didn't move her hands, letting her wonder at her own pace, but his boxers stayed very much intact. When her hand made its way down to the place she had been both wanting and dreading to touch, he let out a groan.

"April," he said moving her hand, "As good as that feels, we can't. I'm not going to make it all the way if you keep doing that if you catch my drift."

"Then let's take it all the way" she responded, kissing him with everything she had. They didn't break the kiss, but she felt him work his way out of his boxers, readjusting his weight as not to hurt her.

"You're sure?" he asked, waiting for the final assurance of the night. She knew that she had waited a long time to do this with someone, and this night was turning out to be nothing like her high school- sugar coated fantasies, but it was beautiful in a way she didn't really fully understand yet. She had never thought someone like Jackson would be her first, and yet here they were, his eyes burning holes into her, knowing basically everything there way to know about her – her nervous habits, her insecurities, her favorite jokes, - and loved her anyway.

"Jackson. Be my first." She said, reaching for a condom that she knew he kept in his top night stand for moments like this. (Although she hoped she was a bit different.)

She undid the wrapper slowly, slowly placing it in his length as he groaned slightly. He kissed her again then, changing their position so he was ready to enter her. She tensed; she had heard all the horror stories about the pain that came with doing this for the first time.

"Hey, "he said softly, cupping her face to look at him, "relax. I know this is going to hurt, but it'll be better if you just relax okay?" she nodded. This was it. No going back. He entered her slowly, and at first it felt fine, good even, but then he passed a certain point and it hurt. It wasn't the pain she had been expecting, it was shooting and searing where she thought it would just throb a bit. She felt tears involuntary rise in her eyes and he stilled within her.

"I'm so sorry" he said, and the sincerity in his voice sort of broke her heart and he kissed her neck, her cheeks, her lips.

"J-just give me a second. I-it's getting better." She said and it was; the pain was easing and she was finally feeling how well, good it felt.

"God your tight," he said, his head falling to her shoulder, and she knew it must be taking all of his self-control not to move right now.

"You can move Jackson," she said after another moment. He started the pace slowly, and she felt the slight pain which was left begin to mix with pleasure.

"Damn you feel so good, " he said, starting to go a bit faster, kissing her again. The pain was now fully gone and she could enjoy the feeling of it all. He had started to hit this one spot within her that was simply maddening. She thinks that she groaned out his name, or maybe he had done it to hers, she can't really recall, but all she knows was before long he was rubbing at her sensitive nerves while still being in her.

"F-fall a-apart, " he whispered into her ear, his free hand rubbing her nipple again. And then she just couldn't take it. She had thought the first orgasm was good, but this was unearthly. She saw white, her toes curling and fingers grasping at the sheets, her voicing calling out his name somewhere far off.

He followed soon after, and it was somehow confidence boosting to know she had made him do that. They separated, lying beside one another breathing heavily.

"You okay?" his head was supported by a bent elbow, looking down at her.

"You really need to ask?" she smiled back at him.

He returned the grin, "That was unbelievable, " he said pecking her lips again, "I'm really happy you let me be your first and didn't just do it with some douche in a bar."

"Me too. So what now?" she asked, eyes breaking his. What if this was just a one-time thing? What if he meant he only liked and almost loved her like a friend and that he just wanted to make sure that she had a nice first time?

He lifted her head up so her eyes met his. "We cuddle. Then sleep. Then in the morning we figure out what it all means. Because for me," he stuttered over the next few words, "i-it wasn't just sex for me. But if y-you need to work things out on you end…"

She silenced him with a kiss, "My end is pretty well worked out."

She soon found herself in his arms, his lips mumbling "mine too" before they cuddled into a comfortable position. She didn't want to over think it or cause problems right now. She had had sex with someone she loved and couldn't find it in herself to ruin it with over thinking and un- needed conversation. So, instead she just went to sleep, feeling more comfortable than she ever had before.

* * *

**Hello readers! so this was incredibly hard to write. I have never written anything like this so idk if i like how it turned out or not , so let me know what you thought. i'm working on a really really long one shot that shot be out sometime in the next two weeks. I don't know what the future should be for this story, i'm currently on the fence, so let me know. Have a good weekend!**


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